The Weight of the Bottle

I get the feeling. Reaching for a bottle to formula feed your baby when it seems like every other mother you know is nursing can feel like admitting defeat. It’s hard when your plan doesn’t go as expected, but there are so many benefits and blessings that come from the bottle.

This month, our theme is Freedom. To us, freedom isn’t the absence of breastfeeding; it is the peace that comes with knowing your baby is fed and growing well. The bottle is not the enemy, even if it feels like it at the time. (I totally understand this. My first, who will be referred to as E, refused to nurse and even spit up the small amount of milk I did produce). The bottle is a necessary tool for the survival of your journey.

From “Failure” to “Tool”

Let’s redefine success. Your success is never measured in the ounces you produce. Even an oversupply comes with its own struggles and issues. True success is a thriving baby and a mentally healthy mother.

Whatever you need to do to protect your mental health should be a priority. For me, that meant:

• Stopping the pump: It depressed me to see such tiny amounts.
• Prioritizing myself: I focused on daily workouts and a healthy diet instead.

With my second baby, I let go of the “all or nothing” mindset. While I still don’t pump, my second (Who I will begin referring to as M) latches much better. I nurse him mostly for comfort and a “little snack,” knowing he gets his primary nutrition from formula. I’m grateful he helps nurture that bond with me on our own terms.

The Physical Freedom of Supplementing

If triple feeding has become an exhausting burden, you have permission to stop. There is no single “right way” to be a mother. If you are mentally and emotionally drained, that is valid, but you don’t have to stay on that path.

I am specifically grateful for the bottle because it allows my husband or other family members to step in. It gives me the freedom to:

• Sleep through the night.
• Take a long, uninterrupted shower.
• Leave the house all by myself. 

The “Both/And” Mindset

If you want to preserve your nursing journey while supplementing, you have options:

• Paced Bottle Feeding: Using slow-flow nipples to mimic the breast.
• Supplemental Nursing Systems (SNS): A tool to provide nutrition while at the breast.

The best part is that YOU get to decide what works for you. While I personally found an SNS to be too much hassle, it is a wonderful tool for others. I personally love looking into my baby’s eyes while he takes a bottle. Bonds are created from closeness and connection, not just nursing.

Choosing Peace over Pressure

Identify one negative thought you associate with the bottle and trade it for a positive one.

Instead of “I failed,” try: “This bottle provides my baby’s growth”.

Even if your baby only gets a few drops of breastmilk, they are still breastfed. And if you choose to stop breastfeeding entirely to keep your sanity, there is no shame in that. I’ve been there—I stopped at four months with my first.

What was the exact moment you realized the bottle gave you your life back? Let me know in the comments below.

P.S. If you’re navigating the complex emotions of low supply today, please know that you are sufficient. I’ve put together a 46-page workbook to help mothers like us heal the emotional side of this journey. Click here to purchase Sufficient: Healing the Heart of the Low Supply Mother