I’ve been there. The immense pain of feeling like you’re all alone. Like you’ve been abandoned. You pray and plead and seek for the feeling of something. Anything. But God is silent. And you’re confused. Confused why he would leave you feeling like this. Forsaken. I’ve been there many times. Most notably was in my …
Continue reading God’s Timing, Our Growth: Finding Peace in the Unanswered
Do you remember when your precious little baby was born? You looked down into their brand new face, and fell in love at first sight. You knew from that point on you wanted to give that little one the world. Every good thing, you wanted to provide for your new bundle of joy. Despite wanting …
Continue reading Navigating Comparisons: When Other Mothers’ Journeys Trigger You
I remember being pregnant with my first. I was taking in as much information as possible. I joined groups for moms expecting babies in the same month, followed influencers and perfect install moms, and read parenting advice—anything I could get my hands on. At first, it felt like I was getting ahead—like I was setting …
Continue reading Why I Purged My Social Media from “Mom Content”
When Breastfeeding Doesn't Go as Planned You just finished another round of pumping, only to be let down, yet again, by your body. You think of the looks you are self-conscious of when you make a bottle of formula for your baby in public. The looks as you add a container of formula to your …
Continue reading Navigating Guilt: To the Mom Who Feels Like She’s Failing
As I pulled out my breast pumps, preparing to sanitize them for their new homes, an unexpected wave of sadness washed over me. These were more than just machines. They were physical, tangible reminders of the struggles I had endured. They held all my hope—the hope that I could nourish my baby the way I …
Continue reading The Life-Changing Moment I Let Go of My Breast Pumps
This is the fifth installment in my series on grief. I recommend reading the previous posts highlighting denial, anger, bargaining, and depression before this one. They provide solid context and highlight the emotional journey I have been through to get to this point. It’s been over a year since I began walking through this grief …
Continue reading Surrendering Expectations: Embracing the Mother I Am Becoming
This is the third installment of a series on grief. If you haven’t read the first two posts on denial and anger, I recommend doing so, as they may provide more context for this one. This post goes onto the third stage of grief: bargaining. I remember sitting on the couch one day, holding my …
Continue reading If Only… The Illusion of Control and My Struggle with Low Milk Supply
I was sitting in the foyer of our church, bouncing my baby gently on my knee, when a woman I didn't know approached me. She must have noticed the bottle in my hand, assuming that I could produce milk like any other woman. With a warm but casual tone, she asked, "Do you breastfeed or pump milk for your baby?"
I vividly remember the first time I read about Insufficient Glandular Tissue (IGT). I was sitting on the toilet and sobbing. Sobbing because, for the first time, I had figured out what was “wrong” with me. Sobbing because I felt betrayed.
