I never expected to grieve something like breastfeeding. But here I am, still untangling the emotions, still learning to make peace with what was and what wasn’t.

We have reached the final installment of my series on grief. Please review the previous posts on denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance if you haven’t. You might be thinking, but wait, the Kubler-Ross model of grief only has five stages! And you are correct in thinking that. However, David Kessler is a bereavement expert who mainly discusses how to find meaning following the death of a loved one. Grief isn’t limited to situations of the loss of loved ones. Grief can happen when we lose anything that is meaningful to us.

Which leads me to this blog. This blog has been in the works for well over a year at this point. Finding meaning takes time. Have you ever wondered when—or if—you’ll reach that place? If so, you’re not alone. Meaning is personal, and it looks different for each of us.

This blog is just the beginning. My hope is that it becomes more than a collection of posts—it becomes a place where we support each other. Whether that’s through sharing stories, offering encouragement, or knowing you’re not alone, this space is for you.

If you want to stay connected, watch for upcoming ways to engage with other mothers who understand this journey. Until then, know that you belong here.

Do you remember the story from my anger post? The one with the random lady at church? I remember sitting there, stunned. My face felt hot, and my chest tightened. Her words weren’t meant to hurt me, but they did. And at that moment, I knew there had to be a space for women like me. Women whose stories didn’t fit the norm.

I came away from that experience with the goal of creating a community for women. After much planning, healing, overcoming my own struggles, and researching, we are finally here.

I want this to be a safe space where all women feel welcome. No matter what your breastfeeding journey is, you are welcome here. However, this space will be the most comfortable for women who have experienced struggles in keeping their milk supply and nursing.

I also recognize that breastfeeding grief isn’t one-size-fits-all. Some mothers struggle with supply, others with painful feeds, exclusive pumping, or unexpected weaning. Some never get the chance to nurse at all. No matter your experience, if you’ve felt the sting of loss in your feeding journey, you belong here.

Finding meaning is to come away from grief and be able to move forward from it. This means that an understanding of the situation is not required—only that it happened. 

Meaning can take form in finding gratitude despite the grief. It can equate to changing a lifestyle. It can mean honoring others who may also be going through similar situations in grief or creating a project, movement, or foundation.

Finding meaning doesn’t have to be a significant radical change. It can be small; all that matters is that it is meaningful to you. It also doesn’t mean forgetting the pain or pretending the grief never happened. It means taking what you’ve been through and using it to create something good—whether in your own heart, your family, or in the lives of others. Whatever your next step looks like, it is enough.

In his book, Kessler suggests considering several questions to help find meaning. I have updated the ones I think are best for this particular situation to make them more personalized to this area of grief. Contemplating these questions and writing down your answers in a journal may be helpful. 

I know how overwhelming this journey can feel, but reflection can be powerful. If you have a moment, I invite you to sit with these questions—not to find perfect answers, but to see where they take you.

• What have you learned from the loss of your breastfeeding experience?
• What have you learned to value in motherhood? What did you value before experiencing breastfeeding grief?
• What did you value most about the idea of breastfeeding?
• What was important to you about breastfeeding before your journey began?
• What is important to you now in nurturing your child?
• What was important to you about the connection you hoped to have through breastfeeding?
• What do you feel like you need more of in your healing journey?
• If your past self could see through your eyes now, what would you want to show her?
• What can you do to help others who are experiencing this kind of grief?
• How have you changed through this experience?
• How has your breastfeeding journey—expected and unexpected—changed you as a mother?
• How did the love and hope you had for breastfeeding shape your motherhood?
• What do you wish you had known before starting your breastfeeding journey?
• How can knowing it now bring meaning to your experience or help others?
• How can the lessons from this loss be used to support and uplift other mothers?
• How could what you’ve learned help others walking this path?
• What would you like to tell other mothers facing low milk supply?
• What would you like to tell mothers before they experience this kind of grief?
• What do you understand about motherhood now that you didn’t before?
• How can you find inspiration in the love and care you still provide for your child?
• How can you support others who feel alone in this struggle?
• What could you do to bring peace and encouragement to other mothers in similar situations?
• How can you bring joy to your own motherhood experience despite the challenges?

No matter where you are on your journey, your love for your child is what truly matters. You are not alone, and your experience is valid. Thank you for being here.

Your story matters. Another mother out there is feeling the same grief and loneliness, and your words could be the comfort she needs. If you feel ready, I’d love for you to share your experience on the contact page. This space isn’t just about my journey—it’s about all of us lifting each other up.